Link to the Youtube video and the rest of the series!

As her fans know, Siggie looks up to the Greats, the Terribles and even the Impalers of the past. She hopes to learn what it takes to someday make the history books herself! In Episode 6, Siggie discusses Timur (or Timur the Lame, or Tamerlane), the undefeated conqueror and founder of the Timurid Empire in 13th-century central Asia. She tells how he defeated many powerful nations to form his empire, all the while trying to emulate his (likely) ancestor Genghis Khan.

Timur, also known as “Tamerlane” (weak “a” sound) or could be pronounced “Tamerlane” (strong “a” sound), which is the complete opposite of what this guy is all about. He was anything but tame. He was a Turkish

Mongol conqueror. He is basically following the footsteps of Atilla and Genghis. They are tough shoes

to fill. [And the Ottomans were Turkish as well. There was something in the

water in those countries]. Yeah, that made them evil, destructive, and just totally

crazy. All right, yeah, so anyway, he was a Turkish Mongol conqueror. He founded the

Timurid Empire in and around modern-day Afghanistan, Iran, and Central Asia, which as we know, a

lot of that area is not exactly known for its calmness and tameness. He was

undefeated in battle. Reminders of Attila and Genghis and Julius. He is widely regarded

as one of the greatest military leaders and tacticians in history as well as one

of the most brutal and deadly. Which makes me wonder why most of us haven’t

really actually heard of him. I mean I’m just saying, you know, we’ve heard of

Genghis Khan, we’ve heard of Atilla the Hun, we’ve heard of Julius Caesar, we’ve

heard of all of these guys. But Timur… Maybe it’s cuz his name is kind

of hard to pronounce. [Nobody has exalted him…] I’m going to bring this guy

to light. I’m going to go down in history right now for bringing this guy to

everybody’s attention. [It will be as if you conquered those countries yourself].

Exactly! I will bask in the glow of reflected glory. Anyway, he was born in a

Turkish and Mongol area of Transoxiana which is now Uzbekistan. This was back in the

1320s. Maybe that’s why he’s kind of reinventing the wheel here. Yeah, been

there, done that. Atilla, Genghis, and now Timur. You know, it’s like he just, he wasn’t

born early enough. And also it sounds like, you know, Timur is like somebody who

whose whole purpose in life is for peace and control. Well it 

was for control, but not control in a peaceful way. Not like, oh you… I’m going

to take these wild savage animals and I’m going to tame them and control them.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no! It’s more like… I’m going to take the entire world. I’m going

to try to dominate it, like the whole planet. Anyway, yeah I guess I’m a little,

I’m a little late to the party.  Because, you know, I want to be a

conqueror. But it’s already been done. Honestly, it’s been a while. The world is

ready for a new conqueror. Anyway yeah. Anyway, I found a way to make the history books. I am bringing to light Timur. 

By 1370, he conquered the Chagatai Khanate, and from

there, he led his military campaigns across the western part, the southern

part, and the central part of Asia, the Caucuses, and southern Russia. During that

time Timur defeated the Khans of the Golden Horde. That was a little token left

behind by Genghis Khan and the Mamluks of Egypt and Syria, the Sultans of India and

even the emerging Ottoman Empire. This dude was unstoppable. From these conquests, he

founded the Timurid Empire and, you know, being so modest and humble like all the rest,

you know, he’s not going to name an entire empire after himself. Right? Timur

was considered the last of the great nomadic conquerors of Europe and Asia.

These include guys like Atilla and Genghis. They were Nomads, they roamed

around. But it wasn’t enough for them just to roam. They had to conquer

everywhere they roamed too. He is believed to have shared a common ancestor with

Genghis Khan on his father’s side, although some have suggested that his

mother was actually the descendant of the Khan. My guess is both the mother and

the father had enough crazy genes in them to each contribute to Timur emerging

as yet another maniac conquering the entire freaking world. He clearly wanted

to imitate Genghis Khan’s conquests and restore the Mongol Empire as Genghis Khan’s heir. By

the end of his reign, Timur had gained complete control over many of the

remnants of the Mongol Empire. He even attempted to restore the Yuan dynasty in

China. Timur’s armies, like Atilla’s, were multiethnic. They were feared throughout

Asia, Africa, and Europe, places where his campaigns laid waste. His military

campaigns, they caused the deaths of millions of people. Once again,

greatness is synonymous with how many people you kill. That’s how you make the history books.

Of all the areas he conquered, Khwarizm suffered the most. Well,

what is Khwarizm? [They’re in the wrong place]. That’s a hot bed for ass kicking. [It is].

And getting one’s ass kicked. Khwarizm. In this way he most definitely imitated

Genghis, because Khwarizm is the place where there were tons of Genghis Khan ass kicking. The

Timurid Empire would fragment shortly after his death. He was like keeping it going.

After he died, they were like, “No no! Where’s Timur?  We need our Timur!” The

descendants were not enough. [Have you ever thought of what would happened to

your empire after you died?] No I don’t even want to think about it. I keep

things going all the time I’m just because I’m great. I’m one of the Greats,

the Terribles, and the Impalers. So anyway, Timur was considered a great

patron of art and architecture, as well as education, religion. So funny how, you

know, oh they killed millions of people but they were really good at their art and

they’re really good at making buildings and they were really good at teaching

the young. [Or in the case of Atilla, really good at riding horses].