Fourteenth episode of Siggie, presenting her take on the history of the monarchs of England in the context of her favorite topic….herself. In this episode, Henry VIII’s continued obsessive desire for a male heir ultimately led him to wives 4-6. He also annexes Ireland, builds the Royal Navy, and executes his former friend Thomas Cromwell. And has lots of wars.

Moving on to Anne of Cleaves, the German princess. This was the blind date from

Hell. Henry’s marriage to Anne of Cleaves was based on a need for political

alliance with Anne’s brother William, who was the head of the Protestants of

Western Germany. Henry figured that this might help to fend off attacks from the

Holy Roman Empire and Catholic France. The problem was Henry basically thought

Anne of Cleaves smelled funny and he didn’t like her looks, and so only after

six months the marriage was declared unconsummated and annulled. Henry’s

quote-unquote buddy Thomas Cromwell (again keep your friends close keep your

frenemies closer): he was a loyal Statesman and chief minister. He was

beheaded on orders of Henry. It is so interesting that Thomas Cromwell was

eventually beheaded because he was fierce enemies with Anne Boleyn and was

particularly responsible for her downfall which, involved her being

beheaded. What goes around comes around. Cromwell was executed for treason and

heresy. Ironically Henry felt badly about this after it was too late to do

anything about it.

Henry was a little, uh how should we say, impulsive– perhaps this had

something to do with this bad fall that he took while jousting that was so

severe that the stress of it all actually caused Anne Boleyn to miscarry. So

he had a little warrior battle action while he was on the throne. He had

numerous and mostly unsuccessful Wars with King Francis the first of

France, the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, and King James V of Scotland. He was the

first English Monarch to rule as king of Ireland following the Crown of Ireland

act in 1542. He’s known as the father of the royal Navy as he increased the size of

the navy to over 50 ships. So these are some of the highlights of King Henry.

It’s not like he was just known for a searching for a male heir, marrying women,

beheading them, divorcing them and, you know, waiting for them to get sick and

die. No, he actually was doing a few things. In 1513 Henry invaded France and

defeated the French at the Battle of the Spurs. This is small victory but it was

a huge propaganda opportunity for England. While Henry was away from

England James IV of Scotland (that was Henry’s brother-in-law) invaded

England. Queen Catherine of Aragon was holding down the fort at the time and

she led the English army and defeated the Scots at the Battle of Flodden.

Back to his wives: wife number five was the young Catherine Howard. So Catherine and

Henry’s marriage was one of those that didn’t exactly end in wedded bliss.

Now someone again lost their head, and it was figuratively hungry and literally

Catherine. She was beheaded on the grounds of treason, for messing around behind

Henry’s back. Finally, King Henry VIII’s sixth and last wife was Catherine Parr.

She was the final Queen consort of the House of Tudor. She outlived Henry by a

year and eight months. She had four husbands and was England’s most married Queen.

Because of her Protestant sympathies she upset anti-protestant officials and there

was a warrent for her arresr, including by her husband. Then she and King Henry VIII made up

and all was good. Catherine was influential in the passing of the

Third Succession act to restore Mary and Elizabeth to the line of succession

to the throne.

(Stay tuned for Episodes 15: Edward VI, Lady Jane, and “Bloody” Mary)