Link to the Youtube video and the rest of the series!

As her fans know, Siggie looks up to the Greats, the Terribles and even the Impalers of the past. She hopes to learn what it takes to someday make the history books herself! Episode 2 (Part 1) is the first of a multi-part series about Julius Caesar (100 BC-44 BC), legendary military leader, member of the First Triumvirate, and eventual Dictator of Rome. Here Siggie discusses his rise to power.

Siggie: Julius Caesar, called the greatest man who ever lived. And I aspire to be the
greatest woman who ever lived. But again I digress… Julius Caesar was by far one of
the most ambitious, power-hungry success-oriented people who ever graced the Earth.
And while these traits make him great, they also made him the target of a
brutal assassination that Shakespeare capitalized on by writing a play about
it. Everybody’s always trying to make a name for themselves. By the way, Caesar
never said et tu Brute. He was too busy covering his face in shame and trying to
ward off knife attacks. The et tu Brute thing was made up by Shakespeare. He [Caesar] was
responsible for turning Rome from a republic into an empire. He completely abolished the old system in
Rome. He was extremely proud of all of the people that he murdered. So, you have today’s
most psychopathic serial killers that are interviewed from behind bars. But instead
of being punished for it, Caesar was promoted at least until he was killed,
and he was made into a permanent fixture in the history books.

Caesar was born in Suburra, Italy, which is a large neighborhood in Rome in 100 BC, 100 years before Christ
came on the scene and ended up being crucified by the Romans. The Suburra was

apparently filthy, full of crime… quite the slum. That said, Caesar was from an aristocratic family, although they did
lose a lot of their wealth which explains why they were there. Because of Caesar’s
aristocratic roots, he was allowed to hang out in the Senate. There was a sort
of civil war going on with two sides of the Senate. There was a lot of craziness, violence, murders… total mayhem because of
this. Uh, Caesar as a young teenager was basically on a hit list of political
enemies, and people killing the folks on his list were provided rewards. So, he had
to go into hiding. He was reluctantly pardoned by the guy in charge of all
this killing, the conservative Roman dictator Sulla. At this time, there were
all sorts of issues in Rome, all sorts of garbage going on.

For 600 years, Rome was treated as a republic. It was ruled by aristocratic Senators who were just
volunteers. They kept changing their jobs, they were just… whatever. Then Rome
expanded, it got much bigger, controlled a huge empire. It was protected by an
official, large army. But these guys that made up the army… when they
retired there was no money. They wanted a pension or something. They had absolutely
nothing… So, you had all these people that were arguing in favor of the veterans
being taken care of. These were the so-called reformers. Then you had others
arguing against it. It was just a total mess.

To keep safe, because Caesar still wasn’t safe in Rome, his family sent him
abroad in his mid-20s to do things like public speaking and to get an education.
While he was abroad and sailing, he was kidnapped by pirates. This is when Julius
Caesar first showed what he was actually made of in terms of bravery and
confidence, or total complete unadulterated insanity. It depends on how
you look at it. He actually scoffed at the amount that the pirates were asking
for and he said that he was worth more than that. These pirates, the brainiacs
that they were, did end up charging more money- just like what Caesar said. The
money was paid, and then Caesar was set free because again these pirates were a
bunch of brainiacs. Huge screw up at this point… Caesar got some help to capture
the pirates and not only did he capture them, he had them killed. Throats cut and
then they were crucified. Basically this huge political billboard advertisement
for Caesar that said “do not screw with Caesar.”

Another was Spartacus. He was a gladiator and escaped slave
leader in the Third Servile War. The Third Servile War was basically a big slave
uprising against the Roman republic. Caesar fought against Spartacus and defeated
and captured him, as well as 6,000 rebels. And when I say defeated, I mean decimated.
I mean crucified, tortured the whole nine yards, Caesar style. At the age of 32,
Caesar joined the Senate. To rise up the ladder, Caesar needed money. But Caesar was
dirt poor. Now enter Crassus, the wealthy, although quite corrupt, commanding
officer during the Spartacus battle. He was the wealthiest man in Rome. Caesar saw a
statue of Alexander the Great and he was like, “Wah, wah, wah! Alexander the Great!
He did so much by the time he was my age, and what have I done?” This put him in
overdrive and ensured the murders and deaths of multitudes to come as Caesar
ramped up his quest for greatness. With the help of Crassus, he paid for all of
this stuff out of pocket, like entertainment, public entertainment, all
sorts of things. And he bought everyone’s affection. He was married, but he had
affairs with tons of people, both men and women alike.